Quotes

• Friends don't let friends drive naked.
• A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature.
• A friend is someone that won't begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room.
• Friends are people who know you well, but like you anyway.
• An angel without it's wings,
  is just a friend in disguise.
• A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.
• Friends....the people who stab you in the front.
• Real friends help you move dead bodies.
• Don't take life too seriously, you WON'T get out alive.
• Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
• 100 years from now, IT won't matter anyway!
• Don't take life so seriously... It's not permanent!
• Life isn't a rehearsal, you only have one chance to get it right!
• After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'
• Enjoy life, there's plenty of time to be dead.
• In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works
• Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
• People have a right to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
• If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.  Then quit.  There's no use being a fool about it.
• Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and most experience comes from bad judgment.
• A hard thing about business is minding your own.
• My opinions might have changed, but I'm still right!
• If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands.
• Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
• No Jesus, no peace; know Jesus know peace.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
• A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
• A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark
• Never give advice unless asked.
• Tell a man he is brave, and you help him to become so.
• Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
• A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.
• There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
• Never judge a book by it's movie.
• Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
• It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!
• I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
• Love is a two-way street, and I think you're going the wrong way.
• Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours
• Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
• I can resist anything but temptation.
• I believe in angels,
  the Kind that heaven sends
  ...I'm surrounded
  By angels, but I call
  Them my best friends
• As I said before, I never repeat myself.
• I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
  isn't looking good either
• You can't scare me, I have children.
• Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!
• Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
• If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
• F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• icna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet.
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• u seem like a sweet person...
  mind if i lick you to find out
• always remember--when a guy sweeps you off your feet
  he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass!